2016 Presidential Chameleon

With this current election nearly finalized, while half of the country is breathing a sigh of relief because their candidate of choice was elected there's another half that are holding their breath waiting to hear that there's been an error in the count.  We all know that an error in the numbers is highly unlikely, so my advice to those who are scared, nervous, sad, angered, etc- don't present your feelings by acting or speaking in negative ways, rather, be a chameleon.

Chameleons, while not possessing a very attractive appearance, are one of the few animals in the world that has the ability to change color.  In addition, their hands and feet have large toes that assist with clinging to branches and they have the ability to look into two different directions at one time, granting them a full 360 degree view with the ability to focus their eyes quickly and enlarge what they are looking at- similar to how a camera lens works.

Those who know me know that I am not only an intellect, but I also love metaphorical approaches to undesirable situations to help get through them with a different mindset.  So I'm sure you're probably wondering where I'm going with this...

In order to be successful in life, we have to learn and master the skill of being adaptable.  No matter who gets elected into office there's always going to be changes that are both positive and negative.  Chameleons change color based on its emotions or whether or not its hot or cold- but at the end of the day they still change in ways that are complimentary with their environment and this is what continues to help hide them from predators, and it makes it easier for them to surprise their prey.  Whether or not you are angry to the point you are red in the face, or sad to the point where you are pale and puffy in the face- protect yourself and your surroundings by adapting to the changes that are taking place.  If you voted, there's nothing else you can do...if you didn't vote, adding your missed vote along with all the others who didn't vote could have made a difference.  BUT, at the end of the day the decision is made and all we can do is adapt.  Adapt to the change in office.  Adapt in the new structure of our federal and state governments.  Adapt to the changes in laws that will take place.  Adapt to the shift in energy among our country.

Well, at this point we've already determined that your candidate of choice didn't get elected- but rather than sit and mope around about it, stick your feet to the ground and keep it moving.  Finding problems with the way the country voted and complaining about it isn't going to change anything except for the fact that you will be the one who ends up being more mad than you were before.  Stay focused on your day to day.  Keep chugging away at achieving your goals.  Climb to new heights with those big toes on your feet that you haven't yet reached.  Don't let the choice of this election take any steam away from your boat.  Just like a chameleon, rather than sticking to branches, stick to your goals and keep striving to be a better you.

Now that we have adapted to the change, and are keeping our eye on the goals we have set for ourselves, it's time to look in more than one direction.  Looking forward is good- we should always be looking ahead.  We must also look behind us at all times and be reminded of where we came from.  Our ancestors have spent long hours paving the way that allows US to be included in the "WE" of the "We the people" of our Constitution's Preamble.  Let's not only look back at happy moments and wish that they were still happening- instead, let's look back at those times that ignite an inspirational anger to allow us to act intelligently when things we don't like come to fruition.  Did our ancestors really need to hashtag and post everything that angered them- only to be tracked and easily found by those who are angering them?  My guess is no, because such platforms didn't even exist.  So the next time you are looking out of only one eye, be like a chameleon and look out of both eyes at many different angles and ask yourself what else you can do to raise awareness and help the community- rather than picking up your phone and egging on something like a fight screaming "world star"?

As we all can see, our country is changing in many ways right before our eyes- in positive and negative ways.  This election has shown everyone how divided the mindset of our country really is with both major parties nearly being even in percentage of votes.  We can't blame race on the election results either because there are countless minorities that voted for the man that people didn't think would even be an option for them.  At the end of the day the decision has been made, and my remaining vote is for the chameleon. 

Today I choose to adapt, stay focused on my goals and strive harder to achieve them, and I will look at things from all angles to gain a more focused and grounded approach to not only my life, but to ways I will help our community!  Will you?

...do it right.

It's been a while since I've posted something...but that doesn't mean I haven't had anything to talk about (lol!)  Tonight, however, I felt the need to share something that was much needed for me.

I went to dinner with one of my business partners, who is almost twice my age, and our conversation was heaven sent.  As with all things that are divinely ordered, I have no idea how we got on the subject of relationships and marital statuses- but we did.  I was talking about how I'm single, and how I'm comfortable being where I am rather than being uncomfortable and rushing into something that's not going to last.  As he complimented my personality and my comfort of being in my own skin, he told me...don't rush.  Yeah, we hear this all the time from people who are close to us, but for someone I have never had a non-business conversation with I opened my ears a little differently.  He proceeded to tell me how he's experienced both a bad marriage and a great marriage (to his wife now), and then started to go into a little more detail about his previous marriage to a woman he thought he loved....and it went a little something like this:

"Lydia, she was one of the most beautiful girls in town and everybody liked her.  I felt lucky to have her.  As soon as we started dating, it was almost as if everyone close to us started dating, and we all just got close and used to being around one another.  As time passed, I asked her to marry me...and then I called off the wedding the first time.  I knew I didn't love her, but I didn't want to hurt her...and I didn't want to go against what seemed and looked right- after all I was with her for a long time.  Anyway, we ended up getting married and on that day I remember feeling so bad because my mom and dad were in the back of the church crying...my mom knew I was making a big mistake.  I just didn't have the balls as a young man to stand up for myself and follow the matters of my heart.  After we got married, things didn't get better of course...it was like, if we weren't married we wouldn't have even been hanging out because we didn't share any of the same interests.  If there's anything I would have done differently back then, it would have been to do things the right way...and not the way that looked good, or a way that would simply not hurt someone else's feelings whether or not it meant to sacrifice my own.  I look back and hate that I truly wasted 9.5 years of my life....."

Being in my late 20's on the brink of 30...and being single...this further reminded me why I'm so patient and not eager to be in a relationship or to be married.  Don't get me wrong, these are things that I would love to have...but, all too often I personally witness people in relationships that are not fulfilling and that they are not 100% happy in. As my business partner was telling me his story tonight I envisioned so many other faces on his, telling me the same story 10 years from now.  Why be in a relationship if it's not fulfilling?  That doesn't even make sense.....but what does make sense is that a relationship is held onto for sake of upsetting the other person, or maybe the children that are involved, or maybe because of the fear of releasing something that's become comfortable.  When my business partner was finally able to let go of what he knew wasn't right for him, he was then truly blessed with a woman that he said he cannot see him living his life without.  

A little while back, another guy I know told me "I mean, the goal is to be happy forever right?......maybe I'm too good hearted of a person to [leave]."  

While I wanted to call bullshit, I didn't.  This is the problem though...everyone is chasing the dream of "being happy forever", but what they fail to realize is that happiness is a temporary emotion- one that can easily be taken away and given back.  Also, too good hearted?  No my friend, if you're good hearted you would do yourself and the other person "good" (no pun intended!) by leaving the situation and moving on in life and in love before you end up so unhappy to the point where you're cheating, and/or they're cheating...unless that's already happening which in any case, you really shouldn't be in a relationship anyway.  That's a story for a whole different post though...*sips tea*

 Joy....that's what we need to be after.  Unlike happiness, joy is everlasting...it's not easily taken away, and it's not easily replaced.  That's what my business partner has achieved...and it's such an awesome thing!  We need to stop sacrificing what it is we want and know we deserve, and settling for mediocrity.  Once you settle for something less than what you deserve, you end up getting much less than what it is you actually settled for.  If there's any lesson we learn from our elders let this be it...do things the right way from the beginning.  Love for the right reasons, and give yourself to the right person.

Yeah yeah yeah, this is coming from a single girl and you're probably like "Bye Felicia"!  In my defense, I would rather be the joyous single girl awaiting her king, than be the taken person who is in the wrong relationship with the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

Deception

Dear Man,

My name is Deception.  I lie below Truth and Loyalty, at the points of lies and misdirection.  I love to make others feel confused and self-inflicted- When in reality , everything they feel is nothing short of real and conflicted.  I make women feel as though they are emotional- Yet I disguise myself in lies, making myself appear more in-disposable.  I know there comes a time when a woman figures me out-  But I've built such a good story, I don't believe there should be any doubt.  I continue to build stories that I think build my credibility and character-  Thinking that I'm the best she's ever had and there can't be another parameter.  There will come a day when I'm challenged, and she will say she's done-  But don't worry Man, I will help you think of a rebuttal that compares to none.  I'll have her on her knees begging for you to keep her-  Making you feel like someone Satan himself couldn't even name after a better reaper.  You've now enveloped this woman in all your lies and me with deception-  To the point where you've blinded not only her love but her angelic perception.  Her perception not only of you, but of man in general-  She will never love again, with any ounce, any gram, or any mineral-  What's left inside her is dark, shallow, and cold-  She will never love a man again, as she grows old.  My name is Deception and I love the role I play-  As long as you play games, in your life I will stay.  I have no regard for feelings, looks, or love-  Because the evil I evoke amongst you all will always rise above.  I strive for bitterness, anger, and other types of bad posture-  For I know that with me, true love can never prosper.

Signed,
Deception

The Hike...

This past Valentine's Day (or singles awareness day as my fellow single people will refer to it as), I embarked on a hike that I didn't know would change my life, and my perception of myself.  While most people either sat and dreamed of having a valentine, or went out to eat with their valentine, or after receiving flowers from their valentine, or getting proposed to by their valentine, or etc (sorry, that's just my cliche v-day talk happening) I took upon myself a challenge that I didn't think I would be able to complete...Pardon my lengthy post in advanced, but hear me out...please...

When I started on the journey, I was full of energy and felt more ready than ever to conquer the task at hand...little did I know, that a little more than halfway through I would start questioning myself and thinking that I wouldn't be able to make it all the way to the end.  

Half way through the trail, I started to experience muscle fatigue- my legs were shaking at the thought of being still for more than a few seconds at a time...I kept whispering to myself "Push Lydia...Push."  There were several moments where I wanted to give up, and throw in the towel...but I continued on the path of completing the task at hand.  When the first peak was reached, and I saw the ocean hugging the horizon, along with the entrance to the San Francisco Bay, I was overcome with a simple amount of joy that's unable to be explained.  A smile stretched across my face, that even if I tried to explain it, the image that would cross your mind wouldn't be comparable to the one I was wearing. Moments like that one humble be knowing that God took his time wonderfully creating me, and placing me in this world of such huge beings (i.e. the ocean, mountains, vast lands, etc)!

6 miles into the hike, the beach (Stinson Beach) was in sight, and I felt an extra kick of adrenaline kick into play..."We're almost there Lydia....push!"  I found myself jogging at this point, after almost falling to defeat from exhaustion a few times, but I saw the end of the first part of the journey in sight and was overwhelmed with excitement that I had made it to my furthest point ever during a hike. At the end of the first 6.14 miles, I was greeted with a sign that read "Stinson Beach, 1/4 mile".  

I thought to myself "you've got to be kidding me!  The sign previously read 1.3 miles, and now here I am at 1/4 miles reading a sign that's telling me I have further to go."  Needless to say...I continued to trek on.  In this moment, I reminded myself of the battle that we continue to face with the enemy...when we are almost at a point of victory in our lives, he is there to place a thought in our heads that we are not at victory yet- that there is something else we must do to get there...with hopes that we will fall to defeat and ultimately into his hands.  Well, the enemy didn't obtain another victim yesterday...the beach was reached in great timing, and it granted the ultimate 45 minutes of relaxation that was much needed.  The feeling of kicking off my shoes, and laying down on the soft sand was so enriching...it was humbling in itself that I was okay with that versus laying down in a bed with soft covers and pillows, along with a blanket to cover me.

 I laid there and absorbed the sound of the families that surrounded me, along with the sound of the seagulls and the ocean which are nothing short of relaxing.  Next thing I knew...it was time to time to tie up my shoes and get back to my car- at the BEGINNING of the trail.

On the way back, I began to feel defeat much earlier on due to the heavy fatigue I was already feeling...physically and mentally.  Once the beach portion was completed, I stopped in my trek and had a revelation.  I realized that this hike I was on is VERY relevant to life...when you look back while hiking, you can see where you've come from, and you can reflect on what you felt along each point of the way that you can see........however, when you look ahead you can't see very far ahead as the trail makes curves and dips/climbs that don't allow you to see very far ahead.  

In life, we are always capable of seeing the past- at least the memorable parts of the journey where something significant has happened to us....BUT we are unable to see the future.  This hike reminded me that I need not to focus so much on my future, and what lies ahead for me...rather, I need to focus on my relationship with God and learn how to walk by faith and not by sight for HE is the one who is in charge of the things that I encounter and experience.  I can look at my past, and learn from my past...for example, I was able to look back at the trail and remind myself of the hardship or the doubt that I faced at a particular turn- in order to help me better prepare to face that battle again which may await in the near future.  I truly learned that the past is merely a learning tool...and it shouldn't be a judging tool.  All too often we judge people based on their past, and/or the things they have experienced.  My question is...."Why?"  A past is something that someone has experienced, and something that someone has learned from...it doesn't mean that it's who they are.  Just because I might have stopped for a ten minute break among my journey, does not mean that I'm a failure.  This lesson was very vital to me, as I know more than ever now to not judge a person's past, as their past is merely a reflection of what they have been through, what they have learned, and possibly what they choose not to revisit.  On the flip side, if that person is still practicing negative behaviors from their past that would raise some suspicion or doubt internally...but that's a different story.

The trek back was the biggest test of mental and physical toughness than I ever imagined I would ever face in my life...I had been way past the point of exhaustion, and knew that my mind would win the battle ultimately.  I had cramps in every lower joint, I had muscle pain in every lower body muscle, and my feet were throbbing beyond belief...but I trekked on as if I was not in any pain at all.  I even had the nerve to play music and dance along the path...At this point, I tested my mental toughness and learned that my mind has complete and total control over what I feel in my body.  When the first flight of steps was reached (knowing there were SEVERAL more to encounter) I almost allowed myself to feel defeated...I saw how people were struggling on the way up while I was on the way down as I shared encouraging words with them like "you got it!" or "way to go!", only to find myself needing the same words of encouragement as I embarked upward among them, only to not encounter many people walking downward who I wished would have shared the same words.  As I finished that climb, I was more exhausted than before (like I never thought would even be possible!) but after digging deep into my inner self, I found a motivation that I didn't even know existed.  Overall, I climbed over 750 steps on the 6.25 mile trek back...with that, I don't think anymore words are needed.

 

During the last mile, I found myself trekking the trail alone...as the sun was setting.  Now, I began to experience fear.  Prior to this day, I have been focused on living a fearless life as I learned to lean more on the Lord for guidance...and I didn't foresee this day being a test of what I've been learning.  I started off this last mile with an unexplained amount of strength and confidence...but half way through the uphill battle, I began to experience another level of exhaustion and ultimately....fear.  I paused for a second at a steep flight of steps, and gathered myself.  I found myself in prayer asking for strength...and help.  Once I got to the top of the steps, I then found myself seeking the extension to the trail I was on which I couldn't see...once I caught myself worrying, a couple that wasn't too far behind me called for me (I was walking among the road trying to find the connection to the trail...) and said, "It's this way, the car was blocking it!"  I instantly felt relief overcome me and I shouted a big huge "thank you!" to the couple, and followed them.  As I started to see more landmarks that I mentally noted, and knew that I was on the right trail back to my car, I felt another feeling of relief which was shortly followed by the last feeling of exhaustion that I didn't think I would be able to combat. 

When I reached my last flight of steps, before hitting the main road that I was parked on...I felt completely defeated.  My legs felt as if they couldn't take another step, my lungs felt as if they couldn't take another breath, and my mind felt as though it couldn't take one more ounce of pain.  I stood there for about 30 seconds and had a talk with myself which turned into a prayer to my heavenly Father...I won't go into detail, but know that an instant amount of energy overcame me that definitely didn't come from within my own body...I found myself climbing those steps as if I hadn't previously hiked 12 miles, and once I got to the end I stood there and cried.  I cried tears of joy, pain, and I truly feel like those tears are owed to God who helped me through that last push.  The energy that overcame me was not my own, but it's one that got me through that last battle that I didn't think I would win...

I say all of this to say, when you feel like you've reached your peak- an energy depleting point in your life- to keep trekking on, because the reward at the end of your pain and struggle is going to be nothing short of a self strengthening lesson you're meant to learn.  During the journey, look back and reflect on all you've been through and all that you've experienced along the way- not to weaken you, but to strengthen you for what lies ahead.  Don't worry about the things that await you in life, for they are unknown- rather lean on faith and not on your sight in order to allow yourself to receive the ultimate reward.  When you find yourself alone at any point of your journey, don't feel defeated because that's what the enemy wants...instead, lean harder and stronger onto the Lord and your steps/thoughts will be divinely guided, therefore bringing you to a victory you've never imagined possible.  

As our guest Pastor said today.....Be BOLD.  Be STRONG.  Be VICTORIOUS. 

I love you.

Lydia. 

Reservations

not for dinner that is...rather, about the people and/or the happenings in our lives.  We all have them, yet we all tend to overlook them, or find excuses to fill the reasons why that reservation should become a booking- something that we accept the terms to, and go forward with because we don't think there's a better option.  My question to this is, "why?"

I was speaking to one of my friends today that I haven't spoken to in a while, and I thank them not only for the motivation to write again (Thank you for telling me you miss my blog posts by the way!), but for placing this topic on the top of my mind because I really think it's relevant to many people in many different ways, men and women alike.  I'd like to take a deeper look at a very common place where one may have reservations, and interpret the possibility as to why one doesn't cancel the reservation and find a new place to eat, figuratively speaking.  

Relationships.  Oh boy, the beloved relationship that we all thirst and hunger for...We spend so much time and energy to find "the one" only to get with them and then have reservations about their existence (in our life), their loyalty, their honesty, their actions (or lack thereof), and the list goes on.  First, we need to trigger what's causing us to have such reservations about our significant other...

Are they just?  

"Trust your hunches.  They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level." 

Dr. Joyce Brothers 

Are they accusations to make a negative situation in our head play out to be true?  

"When one person makes an accusation, check to be sure he himself is not the guilty one. Sometimes it is those whose case is weak who make the most clamour." 

Piers Anthony

Is there any evidence to make us think such things?  

"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence." 

David Hume

Or better yet, what's currently going on in our lives to make us question the existence of someone else in our lives?    

“In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place.” 

Oscar Wilde

Most times reservations are made, just like dinner reservations, with prior knowledge of something (for example, dinner reservations are made with knowledge of either a time, possible number of people, preference of seating, avoiding holiday traffic, etc).  Whether that something be something you know of another person personally, something you know of that person from previously, or something you know of yourself that the other person won't be able to conquer- Notice I didn't say "something you know of that person from what you've heard".  I say this to say that we all are going to have reservations about the things, or the people, that are happening in our lives and that it's important for us to not only acknowledge and address this- but to conquer it.  Once we are able to keep it real with ourselves as to what these reservations are, and why they exist, we are then able to overcome them.  Remember, your reservations may not always be right so take heed and approach with a whole heart and with caution- hence, the importance of really understanding where the reservations are coming from to begin with.  

There's always a possibility to cancel reservations, and make new ones at other locations...but ask yourself if there will be a different outcome or will the same thing occur?  Will that restaurant be any less full?  Will the food be any better?  Will the seats be any more comfortable?  Remember- the grass isn't always greener on the other side folks....rather, it's green where we water it.  

Choose a way, and stick with that way...whole hearted.

Deuces.

What I Know Now...

(At age 12)

Dear Lydia,

  I know things haven't been easy up to this point...you've been teased, mocked, taken advantage of, loved, and cared about all at the same time.  Such a mix in actions can be confusing, and I know it's not easy.  Stay true to yourself, and learn that you're beautiful and you will see that others will soon be recognizing this same thing to be true.  Little do you know, you don't let any of the negative comments hurt you, rather, you use them as fuel to your fire to make you better- which ultimately will place you on a much larger pedestal in life than you can't even imagine right now. 
  
High school is going to be a tough time for you personally, with finding yourself and what you're passionate about...but don't lose haste, you're still learning things that will make you stronger.  
  You're love for soccer is going to be challenged, but you'll bounce back from it in later years that will fulfill you more than you can imagine by giving back to young ladies who started the same way you did.  You find ways to overcome, and you always find joy in alternate ways of doing things you love.  The years following as you begin your college career are going to be difficult too, but don't lose faith when that happens.  You will be accused of things, talked about, and find yourself at a point of depression that you haven't felt before....but again, don't lose faith, Lydia!  Your relationship with your Lord and Savior will be strengthened more at this point in your life, as you learn to lean on Him more, and trust in Him with your life's path.  Little do you know, these feelings only last for a short period of time, and you recover nicely as you continue on throughout your college career, becoming a Dean's List graduate and a proud (dual sport) NCAA athlete.
  
After college, you're going to experience another season in life that will teach you endurance (on a different level than sports) and discipline.  You're going to want to give up, and be stuck on the mentality that you should be doing something different with your life than what you're doing.  Don't lose faith!  Keep those you can trust close, and don't be afraid to lean on them.  They won't always agree with you and tell you "yes", but what's important is that they will always be honest.  Be prepared for their honest answers, and learn not to take things personally.  This is what's going to be crucial in your coming years as a woman, and as a woman who is going to make some major life changes that she's never imagined possible for herself.

Lydia, you're truly on a path to greatness and I'm excited for what you're going to experience.  There are things that are coming to you, that not only you have probably never imagined- but that others haven't imagined either.  Stay true to yourself, despite what words are mumbled about you out the mouth's of others, and know you're destined for your dream.  Although things won't come as "on time" as you hope, you've been built for moments like this through all you have endured up until now, and because of that you will be able to endure and embrace this humbly, and be patient.  Lean on the Lord, Lydia, and you will see even more that you "can do all things through Christ who strengthens [you]!" Love yourself, love others, and don't worry about anything other than the truth from your own heart.

I love you, and know that you're not only great now- but that you're destined for more greatness!

Stay Strong & True,
Your Future Self


Motivated by the book "What I know Now" by Ellyn Spragins...a GREAT book, and definitely recommended to my fellow women!  There's also a book that follows "What I Know Now About Success" which is also GREAT!  Take the time to do this exercise, and I think that you will find some inner motivation that you never thought you had!!!

"The path to everlasting joy is not easy, but nothing worth having is ever easy to attain!"

-LM

...only 22 in Scrabble

Brothers are often the guys that every little sister hates.  They are always hard on us, they hate every guy we speak to, they tease us, they never want to play with us and our toys, and they never let us hang with him and his friends.  Sheesh, you would think that we wished they didn't exist, but it's exactly the opposite.  I'm so grateful to have my big brother in my life (now and back in the day), and I'm even more grateful for all those times listed above because everything he did taught me a lesson that I carry in my back pocket today:  

Lesson #1:  Become a fly, so every time he tries to get me he'll get annoyed and give up.

Lesson #2:  Tell him the only men I speak to are the naked pin-ups in my bedroom.

Lesson #3:  Next time he's drunk tattoo a penis on his forehead...no more teasing should totally be the result!

Lesson #4:  Hang with a couple of strippers, and then see if he'll want to play with your "toys"...lol!

Lesson #5:  Date one of his friends, then he'll have to let you hang!

(then)

Okay, I'm totally kidding!  (or am I? hahaha!)  Seriously though, I love my brother with all of my heart and I'm so blessed that he has played that 'definition of a man' role in my life from birth, until now, and moving forward.  I admire him dearly, and look up to him in more ways than one.  After all, who else would I be crying on as I profess my sisterly love to them after a night in a strip club? hahaha! As he celebrates another year of life today, I wanted to give him the "manly shoutout" he deserves!

(now)

Cheers [Tim] (I dare not put his nickname for sake of getting cussed out!], to another year of life and to being the man you were, the man you are, and the man you'll continue to be moving forward!  Thank you for always being there for me, being honest with me, respecting me, supporting me, and most of all continually teaching me not only about life- but about the type of man that I should select to be in my life!  I pray that you're blessed with many many many more years on this Earth, and that I'm here to enjoy them with you too!  I LOVE YOU BRO!!! 

And remember.........